After thirty-four years in public ministry, I have discovered four basic ways I offend people: 1) by what I say; 2) by what I don't say; 3) by what I do; 4) and by what I don't do. Perhaps this is your life's experience as well.
I have noticed that my most severe critics follow a basic pattern. First, they are offended in some way. This offense is generally based upon a misunderstanding of a given situation. Second, they assign a motive believing they have discernment or the ability to look into the heart much like a parent who says to a child, "I know you better than you know yourself." What might be true of a mom or dad is rarely true in adults, but there it is -- a prideful arrogance of discernment. Third, they perceive something that is not true, but their perception becomes their reality. Since they now have "facts", "motive", and "perception", they move to their next level. Oftentimes, they do not travel the road towards reconciliation as commanded in Matthew 18. Rather, they practice what God says He absolutely abhors (Proverbs 16) in that they sow discord among the brethren by meeting secretly with others to garner allies for the sole purpose of destroying that individual in any way possible. They move to wound a brother or sister because they themselves feel hurt and refuse to admit their angry rage. The irony is that all of this is accomplished in the name of "Godliness" and they feel spiritually justified in the process.
Of course, when unjustifiable behavior is challenged on gospel terms they are enraged all the more - just as the Pharisees of old were enraged by the words of Christ.
The pattern I have observed of my critics is the same pattern found in the Scriptures against those whom Paul calls, 'the enemies of the cross'. And why not? Satan has no new ideas. He does not need them. The sons and daughters of Belial just keep learning from their father how to operate from generation to generation. And it works since human nature does not change.
Is there any end to this cycle of needless offending, prideful discernment, misperception and traveling the wrong road in response to a perceived injustice? Indeed there is. It is called the new birth. With the new birth comes a new nature. With the new nature comes the fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-26 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24 And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. I do not see the fruit of the Spirit manifested in any of my critics once the pattern begins. Prior to these moments, yes; after these moments, yes, but during them, no.
What is the biblical counsel to such people? It is found in 2 Corinthians 13:5: Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates? Self examination -- not examination of others is the key to spiritual maturity and recovery from the galls of iniquity and blind rage of anger. The critics of pastors, ministers, missionaries, and Christian workers would do well to learn this truth and make personal application.
One day a woman came to D.L. Moody to criticize him for his ministry. After listening to her complaints for a while Mr. Moody replied, "Madam, perhaps you are right. But I would rather do what I am doing for the Lord than join you in doing nothing for His cause and kingdom." Jesus would agree. He tells careless critics to hush. Mark 9:38, " And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us. 39 But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me. 40 For he that is not against us is on our part. 41 For whosoever shall give you a cup of water to drink in my name, because ye belong to Christ, verily I say unto you, he shall not lose his reward. 42 And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea."
